Placement looms!

So, tomorrow is my first ever day on placement -- I'll be working on a female acute ward for the next 8 weeks. Somehow, I felt more prepared before I started training. Six months ago I could have told you about all the jobs a mental health nurse does, but now that I'm going to be expected to engage in parts of it, it seems bizarrely mythical. Having to write a reflective essay on therapeutic relationships has hindered rather than enhanced my understanding it seems -- all of a sudden I can't comprehend how communication can help people in distress. Good to see all that money I paid out to do counselling courses has been worth it!

I think it's just a case of nerves. I'm the sort of person who thrives on routine and familiarity (not to say I can't respond well in an emergency, but give me comfort any day of the week) and it always takes me a few days to find my feet. Once I do, I'm away, it's just a case of having the patience to stick out the first two days or so. I'm also much more confident with academic tasks than practical ones, so I tend to start out as something as a wallflower. I think simply having the opportunity to get involved in things will be good for me though; as much as I loved my LD job, it was the perfect excuse to laze around a lot. I'm braced for a culture shock and a steep learning curve, but hopefully one that ultimately feels worth it.

The placement launch day at university today didn't do much to allay my anxieties, unfortunately -- I think I really downplayed to myself how big a commitment these blocks in practice are, and I'm finding it overwhelming. Practice grids, reflections, essential skills inventories... It's so much to take in. I'm hoping everything just falls into place (and I have a supportive mentor!) and I won't end up too stressed by it all. Hoping being the operative word, of course.

Redundancy is still threatening at work, which is a bit of a pain. In some ways I'd rather just take it, because it'll lift a lot of stress whilst I'm on placement, but when I finish, I'll be sort of stuck. Rota depending, I've been offered the opportunity to keep my 15 hour contract and do late/sleep/early shifts once a week in Burton Upon Trent. Travel expenses would be paid and I could do more hours when I finish placement, but I'm torn because of the distance -- a 60 mile round trip is a pain, but they're doing all they can to reduce it (hence the sleep-ins). Financially I still think I'd be better off taking redundancy, at least in the short term, because I'd be paid owing holiday which it seems unlikely I'll receive at the moment, plus I'd get 6 weeks salary (hopefully not based on my current contract, rather on my 2.5 years of full time work), but like I said, I'd be stuck when placement ended. We shall see, we shall see...