Choices, Choices

Pre-placement thoughts:

"I don't want Crisis/HT, I want to work with people long-term."

"I don't want Crisis/HT, it's all medication."

"I don't want Crisis/HT, it's too far to travel."

Mid-placement actions:

I've submitted my management request for third year, and Crisis/HT is top of the list.

Yep, I'm surprised too. But I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I've never enjoyed a placement as much as I'm enjoying this one. My confidence has grown endlessly, the team are a joy to work with, and the patients make me want to be a better nurse. All my fears (read as: using the phone) are being challenged, and I feel comfortable taking on new tasks, and asking for help when I run into trouble. I think my favourite thing is that I've had excellent feedback from patients: they find me caring and approachable, helpful and empathic. And in nursing, nothing matters more.

The team have become like a family to me. They make fun of me and suggest music to me and are comfortable enough to be completely unprofessional around me (in the most tongue in cheek way!), which I am told is a testament to how well I've come to fit in with them. I look forward to going in to every shift, and every time the topic of my leaving in June comes up, I'm filled with sadness. I had a supervision with my mentor on Monday and she asked if I was going to come back for management; two days later I'd submitted my request.

My choice isn't totally kosher, of course. Beyond the actual work it has the advantage of working long days so I can do paid work at the same time; the base is moving to somewhere closer to home so my commute will be less time consuming and expensive; and there's a high chance I'll be able to get a job there when I qualify as they have a billion unfilled posts. I really, really thought I'd end up choosing Early Intervention but the travelling and the hours just seem unworkable, and I'm not sure it gives me enough of a varied experience of nursing to take into my career.

So, there it is. Expectations turned on their head in less than three months. Nice one, nursing world.